Normally when I write I have some shiny lesson to share. I write forcefully to get this message out (even if the message is a rather spur-of-the-moment insight or feeling). In this post, however, I want to avoid that tendency. I would just like to reminisce on the end of one career to make way for another.

This website is called “Travis Astrology”, but as of the writing of this post I am more of a software engineer than an astrologer. That era is coming to a close though. Right now, the nodes are squaring my natal nodes. This carries the symbolism of a crossroads between past and future, and software engineering is very much a South Node (past/comfort zone) career for me. Astrology on the other hand, especially the way that I am approaching it, is very much a North Node career.

One thing about software engineering and especially the culture of just about every company that does it is that it is not a particularly spiritual endeavor… It was only when I took an extended hiatus from software engineering, for a little over a year before, that I began diving into spirituality. At that time I thought (or hoped) that I would never come back to this field. I thought I could be a full-time astrologer a year ago. But that was wishful thinking and youthful naiveté given where I was at then.

Now, a year later, and at least a year more mature, I am grateful I was forced back into software engineering.

A 1X Engineer

There is a common phrase in the computer world—the “10X Engineer”. The idea is that some people perform at 10 times the capacity of others. To be a 10X Engineer is to be a true “hacker” to use another term. I kind of roll my eyes at these terms and at the silliness of the entire industry. But I am also proud to say that I am officially a 1X Engineer.

In other words I feel, after a degree and 10+ years in the field, that my competence level has reached what one person should reasonably be able to do. Certainly I was not willing to admit this in the past, but I was operating well below 1X.

Sometimes it takes great effort just to be average… Or in my case it required a lot of identifying and shedding bad habits. At the end of the day we are who we are, not really competing with anyone but doing our thing, as fast or slow, as ground-breaking or run-of-the-mill it may be, with calm. We only get in our way.

On the one hand computer programming never was my passion so in some sense I never really “cared”. But if you’d have asked me years ago, I would’ve lied to you about my competence level. I would’ve lied to you because I was lying to myself. It feels good to be honest, and it feels good to be competent (or somewhat competent) even at things that are not one’s passion.

Doing Simple Things in Simple Ways

When I was younger, I was always trying to do flashy and new things. I was also always trying to do this for recognition, status, etc. It wasn’t so much an innate curiosity that drove me in this regard but all the hype around newness and the belief that creating something new and shiny in the technology world was the only way I could “be someone”. 

That someone I was trying to be was not me, but I also thought, somewhere deep and hidden, that me was not someone, at least not someone that I could be. That is a whole ‘nother conversation. Suffice it to say though that flashy, new, and different, those were qualities that came naturally to me. What did not come naturally was just doing my job. That is something I have learned to appreciate only recently.

Most of the software industry relies on the belief that software actually helps the world, that software is “the future”. I wouldn’t say that I necessarily believed this in the past, not consciously at least, but it was there in my programming. For others who are not really in this delusion of righteousness, there are the money-worshippers or the digital conquerors. They don’t necessarily believe that what they are doing is “good” but it is the path to greater wealth (which they need or feel they need). To these people it is important because that is the game that everyone is playing today, a game they want to win.

Suffice it to say though that few people do it because they inherently like the work. That is part of it for many people, but they need more to make it “bearable”.

Now I won’t lie to you and say that I did not appreciate the pay in this most recent stint. I won’t say that I was helping the world through my work. I am over that. But it was a new challenge to do a job that I did not believe was my “main thing”. It was a challenge to balance work and passion, work and long-term purpose. I did this job out of necessity—the necessity of not having trained to do anything else—but I also learned to appreciate necessity.

Not having my whole heart in the work, I did the bare minimum required of me. But not having delusion in my work, I also did that bare minimum the right way.

The universe really aligned for me to find this particular job. The fact that it was remote and didn’t require too much gave me space for my spiritual development to continue. But more than that, it was just so perfect.

For example, the first major project I worked on was almost identical to a project I did in the past. But this project I did in the past was not one I was or am proud of. I cut so many corners, did not do things in a solid or aesthetic way.

If you don’t know anything about programming, just imagine building a house. In the past I built an ugly and flimsy house! A lot of the ugliness and flimsiness was hidden from view, so most people wouldn’t even have known it was ugly and flimsy. But I knew… I tried to avoid knowing but I knew.

This time around though I got an opportunity to build, maybe not a paragon of architectural brilliance. Not a Fallingwater of code, but at least a normal, functional house. Not a house you would show off to friends and family, but a house you could live in with comfort and confidence.

There is a joy to doing the tried-and-true when the tried-and-true is what is needed, and I’ve learned to appreciate that now. Simplicity is beauty. If you are going to build something complex you had better know what you are doing, you had better be passionate, and you had better already learned how to do the simple. Otherwise you are better off staying simple.

Before I was attempting to do the grand and complex when I hadn’t even mastered the basics. It was all ego and delusion. I don’t know anything about building or architecture but to continue with that analogy, it was like designing a building before you knew how to make a fort or a birdhouse.

Next Goals

Now that I am officially a 1X Engineer I can put this career behind me. My next goals are being a 1X Astrologer and being 1X Husband Material.

I tried telling myself earlier today that I was 1X Husband Material but I stubbed my foot on the fridge right after having that thought. So apparently work is still needed in that domain…